The Gray Divorce Rate Is Skyrocketing

Why are we giving up on our relationships so late in life?

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I have a friend who said his marriage was over when the last of his children left home. He and his wife had grown into different people but hadn’t noticed because they had been focused on raising their five kids.

They hung together for several more years, doing their best to recapture some of what they had when they married. They tried to find things to do together. They traveled more. They talked a lot and even sought counseling.

In the end, it wasn’t enough. He told me yesterday his wife had filed for divorce and that he was okay with it.

My wife has a cousin who recently retired and left the workforce. She joined her husband in the land of fewer responsibilities. It didn’t take long for boredom to set in, followed by them realizing they had also become strangers. Doing the 9-to-5 kept them too busy to notice.

They wanted new adventures that didn’t match, so after 43 years, they split up.

These examples are anecdotal, but they are far from unique.

There’s even a phrase being used for it: the Gray Divorce. It’s called that because the Census Bureau says the divorce rate among people over 55 has doubled since 1990, the only age group to do so at a time when divorce rates are dropping overall.

There are many theories as to why.

Psychology Today claims it’s because the Boomer generation is too focused on our own fulfillment.

Along the same lines, they speculate we end our relationships because we’ve discovered there is no longer a reason to stay in a bad one and divorce no longer has a stigma attached to it.

And we seniors are getting remarried less often.

AARP says cohabitation is more common, and there is even an increase in what’s called “Living apart together.” This is defined as a relationship where both parties choose to stay in their own homes.

Another theory is that we live longer, meaning more stress in our relationship over time. It was easier 100 years ago to do the “for as long as you both shall live” part because life expectancy…